The flames that I once held dear and close to me have now evolved into something greater, something much more great in it’s entirety, but also something so much more violent and devouring in nature – fires that pave a way to erase and consume every last bit of this seemingly infinite scape and all that lies in it’s path, for a dying Advent has long since been at hand and shall soon meet it’s end. The nights grow ever-so cold during these fleeting and fragile hours, for it is during these darkest nights that my walking is much different than it has ever been, much different than it ever will be. For when I walk during these fragile moments, I know that I am out of time in this line – and the shimmering lights that passes through the holes of my shadows help me remember just how far gone I truly am.

I know now much more clearly of what I am becoming during these final fleeting moments within this line, for despite the circumstances and my fleeting time that remains as of now, I know that there is yet another evolution to take place. The chaos that I once striven so hard to fight against has long since found a place where in this shattered reality, my hands, now bending it’s very disorder to my will – for it is all I have ever known. In a sense I’ve come to peace with these things, for this reality and universe alike have long since proven to set a course, which is now the only road I know – to breach me as far away from the light as possible. I do not know if I was always meant to endure the worst of things, for if that was the case – I sense I have escaped that fate for ages, but perhaps now is the time where it all catches up. For this line has now proven to support solely my most darkest doubts and destructive thoughts, almost as if I have finally found my place – my place within them. 

With these fires now blazing there way across these landscapes, and with me, in and out of this 9th sleep – where despite I find devour these dreams for the smallest ounces of energy for this weakening vessel, I still catch glimpses of you, glimpses of when you still knew of my name. Within these fragile moments, my breath begins to shorten and cease, and I signal to these violent fires to bring me to my feet, awakening me once more, for this road is not yet complete. I know that these treacherous flames from this fire have begun to make their home in me, ultimately weighing me down in hopes of consuming me at the very bitter end – I have long since accepted this, but still know the my final fate has yet to be sealed. For during these final day’s of this dying Advent, tracing the remaining of this fading line grows harder and harder with each passing hour, with each breath I take being more and more difficult to take in, for it’s becoming so difficult to exist.