NOXIS

In this moment, times have begun to act strange once again. I can feel the chilling of the cold night air begin to pick up once again, it moves fast, violently breaching my skin – almost as if it is in haste, running from something inevitable. Something that I have yet to become aware of. These moments are fleeting, and these precious times are oh-so-fragile. I can feel the coming of the end, it is almost as certain as the coming of winter itself. I can sense a presence other than my own, now come to peace and acceptance for what lies ahead. You stand before me now, so very grey and withered as you have fallen victim to the shadows presence. For in a way, we are one in the same. We have sought out this flame during these fleeting moments across blackened skies, and now, while shadows shall devour you and the final bit of light that you may hold, I shall now become the darkness that this path of a warrior for the shadows has long since prepared me for. 

For no longer, do I live for agreements and contracts made with some universal force that has long since left here – so bitter, so enraged that I would not seek to renew such agreements. For now, as this dark and cold night settles in, do I now truly accept the despair and loneliness that has so desperately been beating at my chest. For now, as I reach out my hands towards this Final flame and all it’s imminence, I can feel the burning of uncertainty begin to consume me, along with darkness alike. I can now see the shadows which have followed and clung to me ever so closely, awaiting this very moment in time begin to spiral out of control, creating a sort of chaos I had never thought to be possible.

I know now that in taking this Final Flame and in accepting what has now awoken, that fates will surely begin to settle in, along with forces I have never thought to have to know. For now, the panic has begun to settle in alongside this uncertainty, as well as the burning that this final flame contains. I am now becoming what I have always known deep down inside to be inevitable, I am now destroying all that I once thought was true during these last fleeting moments, I am now fulfilling the only path left to be fulfilled within this line for a night much darker than anything I’ve ever known has now been stirred. For now, as darkness begins to consume me, it has also become my responsibility, for we are now one.

I have traversed throughout all times of the passing hours which gently caress our skin, warning us of the coming time where we all must come face to face with a fate – or with fates. Morning, Afternoon, and Evening – I have walked this vast and seemingly infinite scape whilst witnessing them all, but the night clings close as always. I am now searching for calm, for I know what is to come will be the undoing and expiration of an agreement that has lasted throughout the Advents, forged at the very cost of fates that I have all been yet to know of. For when this unbinding occurs, when this expiration begins, the darkness and shadows alike will seek to take their toll – and become one with the agreement that we have made, with me ultimately fulfilling my side of the agreement. I have lived through many eras and many ages, I have seen many nights come and go. I have lost much during the darkest hours of the nights, as well as gained much knowledge – I have become what I have needed to be out of the blackness that haunts our all.

This cold night air is making it’s way in so much more violent and aggressive than ever before. It has begun to influence the visions that I see when I close my eyes, it has begun to spiral me into despair, a sort of despair that I have never known, but one that seemingly feels like it was always meant to be. This cold, is a cold that I cannot contain without the Final Flame which burns bright throughout these midnight hours. Even I have my very doubts that this Final Flame would be enough, for even now it struggles to break it’s way through the shadows that cling to me ever-so tightly, whilst their ever devouring darkness quickly devours from behind. Across the night sky I can make out memories within the stars, I can make out the history of the lines which speed by across the darker hours of evenings, I can hear the voices and the echoes which speak both lies and truths to me during darker hours where the veil is thin, and where the creaks and cracks are all I am destined to hear. These are the cries and the conversations of the nights, for I am now alone, and this is what I have come to know.

I will soon make my way into a night of blackness like never before. A night that will dispel truths and fates alike, many of which I may not agree with, many of which may seek to keep me bound to earth, many of which may entice me to fulfill contracts once more that will only seek to continue the cycle. But soon, I will be free from such contracts, free from such agreements, free from such intentions that I had once made solid during the times in which the legend was close, during times when the future was clear – during times long before the exile, long before the cavern walls. Though time is running thin, the night moves me to move faster, to move more swiftly, for I am like a reaper in the night – moving down hallways, working within the night scape, and sifting in and out of dream places; examining fates and so much more that strive ever-so-strongly to become part of me. I am the Midnight Traveler.

My vision was once ecstatically filled with colors, hues of all sorts of life and timelines, visions and dreams of varying sorts. But that time has past now, it is merely an echoes that simply haunts me of what once was and what will likely never be again. What my vision has steered towards now is a stagnant state in between light and dark itself, a fade of grey of sorts – much like the skies that begin to morph yet again from above. It has long since been this way, however, for this is nothing knew. Ever since the exile took place, the dreams that I once knew began to fleet much faster than this dying light itself – the fading was inevitable. But all that has happened throughout those ages, have inevitably lead me here, lead me to remembering the violent scars which were marked upon my skin then and now, and the unsettling bruises which remain in their place – after time does it’s absolute best to heal, as it always does. But perhaps I will touch on that more another time.

For as I grow more and more weary with each passing hour, the darkness from behind and within grows thicker and thicker – like a never ending cloud of smoke. The final flame is near, and it is the final flame indeed that I need to carry out what remains of my journey, the remains of all that I had set out to do. For while yes, desires still stir within me – I can feel a void of purpose, one in which I know may never be fulfilled within this line, one that may require the very course of space and time to be twisted and bent at ones will in order to obtain. One that will surely require great loss to reach.

As the cold night air begins to seep it’s way into this vast and seemingly infinite scape, so does the chaos every time that I close my eyes. For I can feel the panic rising, and I can see the violence brewing. I can see lines march darker than what I had envisioned before, for they seek to mold me into the inevitable, they seek to mold me into what I have always knew I would become.  They seek to claim me as their own, without my say or my blessing. But no longer am I slave to these opposing sides of darkness, and no longer will I be a victim to the false light which has corrupted this all. For while these scars, bruises, and traumas alike may cry and ring out across dark and cold nights – I will continue searching for the only thing left remaining which can help me fight for the fate I deserve, the only thing that shall lead me down the path of what was always meant to be – what will stay forever.

What I am now becoming I would not wish upon anyone. For these states of void and extreme exhaustion have begun to take a toll on me like never before as I grow more and more near the inevitable next phase of equality that awaits. A clearer equality, which will stand as a moment in time that will truly define the life that has been passing me by ever-so-quickly. It is seeming as if now I must sacrifice myself to the flames that surely await, flames that I have long since lost – but flames that have always been part of this land, only to ever be obtained by those who are willing to accept the fates that come with bearing them. Such fates have never been told to me, for some have only managed to manifest themselves in visions during brief periods of daydreams and destruction’s – causing me to inevitably stumble and lose balance.

The night is what I have always been bound to, not by choice, but strangely by fate itself. The night is what I am sure to become – as I know here, this final fleeting light which remains within this vast and seemingly infinite scape will soon be snuffed out by the shadows themselves. For the morphing’s which take place in the skies above will soon dispel a violent light here that shall be claimed by those who bring shadows, and those who have once done their bidding – such as I. There is no more stalling from what inevitably now must be done, for the darkness  has begun to grow thick within me as Hollows begin to grow deeper and deeper from all around.

These day’s have a way of pulling me in with their tides. It seems like an eternity that I ave been in a way wandering, traversing infinite landscapes, experimenting with this very experience I have seemingly signed up for; but times, unlike then – are much different now. It is every now and then that I come to realize this, it is every now and then that the thought comes to my mind and then quickly fleets – much like the remaining time that is passing me by now. The cold air that this time brings has a way of bringing back thoughts and memories that I had always thought have been erased from my mind, kept locked away from me in a sense, kept hidden for reason that still remain unknown to me. During the darker and cold nights, they bring terrors and hollows like things I have never experienced before, things that trigger shaking’s and vision that I perceive to be of the end.

I am both worn, weary, and alone in the eyes of this October sun. For no longer do I know my place in all of this – as my blade has been long since tucked away and cast aside, for as of now, there are no battles left to be fought and no wars left to be waged. For the moment that I yearn to reach now is yet another moment of equality, a moment where I can finally be met by the hands that turn and twist the hourglass at the universes will, a moment where all time will stand still, and where Advent agreements once made will finally come to an expiration. A moment where every last shackle and chain will be unlocked from my flesh – a moment where I can finally become darkness unbound.

Oh father, October, how you have cradled my for eras and Advents past, oh how can I truly show you my appreciation for all you have meant to me throughout the ages? I may not know of you true intent, nor do I know of your true origins. For I am merely your son, your child, holding the essence of you with my last remaining strength, with my last remaining knowings of who I am, and who I have yet to become. For I know following this moment, I will be plunged into Hollows in hopes of obtaining flames that will seek to set fires across these morphing skies and across these seemingly infinite scapes. It is with this in mind that I now know that I must become free all that I have kept trapped from the inside of me throughout all of these ages. My masks are now off, for the veil is quickly thinning and I require both sides of the spectrum to see me now. To see me for who I truly am, to see me for who I have always been – October’s true son.

I have taken much into account throughout these long and weary colder days, for as the air grazes my flesh – I am forced to deal with these thoughts that I can only assume come from a time before the cavern walls took place, a time where I once set out to experience what I am now becoming, a time where I once feared the inevitable. It is during these times that even as I walk this final path of light within this vast and seemingly infinite scape – all I seem to see is darkness.  I feel as if I am treading through lies once more, these lies being disguised as the glimmer and shimmers of light which streak their way across this place, leading me to yet another moment in time where the veil if thin and where we will meet again. A moment of equality, if you will. For my day’s of waging wars for the shadows are now behind me, and while I am still a warrior in essence, there is no longer any battle before me that is to be fought. 

During past ages, I have strayed from this path many times before – for fear of what I would become. But now, as time fleets by faster than the eyes could ever dream to see, I know that no other options remain, I know now that all of the cards are on the table. There are those who are so called light bringers on this path, for they seek to guide the lost, the wanderers, those in darkness – towards that of the light, towards that of newer life. However, I have seen many be lead astray by the false light, including myself, hence during these times that I remain vigilant, for during these times I no longer seek to stray from the path. It is all painful in essence, for the moments that I close my eyes I can see lines of what could become when darkness spirals out of control. For the forces that makeup the duality of the whole are chaotic and devouring in nature – claiming who they see fit.

I do not wish to bring about an era of defiance, nor do I wish to cast aside every whisper of the goddess I once knew – it is now more than ever that I simply seek out the truth in all of this, the very truth once desired that lead to be partake on this journey many eras ago. In a way, the patterns that I once knew will now be broken by new patterns of darkness, patterns of defiance and patterns of sheer will and desire to discover the truth. For it is in these moments that I use what strength remains to use this darkness to sift my ways through the lies and deception, it in these moments that I use what strength remains to guide me towards the destiny that has been fated for me this entire time.