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Intro An Advents End

Stillness, a fragile moment in time in between violent silence and the piercing noise. A moment that stands in between the ending of a life, and the beginning of a new one. A realization that only comes when the world taketh away, whilst the soul replenishes. 

This Advent is ending, something we are realizing now, and something that will be made clear time and time again – while these final fates come down to embrace us all. The snow blows violently across these vast and seemingly infinite scapes, it grazes my flesh and even still taunts me to give into darker more benevolent thoughts, but even now I continue to fight off the persistence. 

The legend that had once returned has long since gone now in this shattered line, nothing remains of it’s trace, nothing but memories that are oh-so fragile, and ever-so fleeting along with the time that runs thin within this place. In my hand, I now hold fires, and in my heart, I now hold desires which are absent of expectations but always hold dreams. For even as hope quickly fades, it is the dreams that bring me moments of solace and peace that are otherwise absent and far from this place now. 

We now come close and hold hands with the closest of those that we can find in order to bring about a sense of readiness as this hourglass of final fates tips over. And with it, the very remaining flames that I hold within my hands now bursting into fires much brighter than I could ever imagine. Fires that will be the last guiding force that will lead me to final fates, fires that will cleanse the path that I leave behind, and continue to erase what remains of this vast place – along with the time that runs thin here. 

Blood of the Fated

The cold has begun to force it’s way into this vast and seemingly infinite place more aggressively that it has ever done before. It is a violent sort of moving, for it’s very entrance has been a delay on the rising of the fires that I so strongly desire to obtain and start from the final flames that I now behold – this cold has now opened up this lands into a place of seemingly endless gray, nothing but doom and despair awaiting into the infinite beyond. With each fragile hour that passes, the darkening grows more and more sinister, as very soon the darkest hours that we have long since dreaded, hours that only once existed in nightmares, nightmares that are now of this shattered and tattered line – will have arrived. I cannot escape this coming darkness, it does not matter how far I run nor how much I may yearn to fight, it is inevitable in essence. With shadows now running rampant, waiting to devour what remains of this line, it is all to late to break my ties with them, for I can no longer erase them from who I’ve become.

At times, when hours speed by like blazing bullets, or shooting stars in the night, I am left staggered – wondering if this is all a dream. Wondering if all along I have been asleep whilst being apart of something entirely different, eyes rolled so far back into my head that the ability to even perceive the line in which I tread on, is much different than the one that flashes within my head – however this is not the case.  This very line and the very atrocities and trials within have left me bruised, broken, scattered and tattered throughout the ages and eras alike. Although the perception of this line is said to be for a true light,  like much truer than anything I will ever come to know of here – within these fleeting day’s, it is impossible for me to see these coming fates as love in anyway, for to me, it is all nothing but an echo of hell, a curse that I will make it out of by myself.

In the darkness that I will be left in as these inevitable nights begin to settle in, so too will come the arrival of those who behold fates, gripping them tightly within their grasp, ready to bestow upon us all. I have ascended much fear throughout the hours leading up to these fleeting moments, and while uncertainty and the unknown still exist to me to a certain degree, there is a sort of sense of clarity that runs through my blood that will soon reach my brain, a sense of clarity that is only carried within the blood of those bound by these coming fates. Fates that will soon be spread across these landscapes like some cataclysmic wildfires.

The Beckoning of the Lords of Fates

During nights like these my hands begin to shake, uncontrollably for the cold night air remains to be piercing in it’s essence, and the visions that flood my mind? They are infinitely filled with the very promise of cutting ties and shattered lines, the very promise of hope that runs thin, the very promise of fires and surrender. I’ve come to terms with a lot that now faces me now, for ever since the Legend had returned, and even long before then, truly, I’ve been a force beneath a nightmare – caught within cycles that I have seemingly always been destined to endure, always been destined to experience. During these times, before the darkest of hours begin to settle in, I can now hear that the God’s have gone silent. I can now tell that the universe is irresponsible, I can now feel that the fates have begun to settle in – and they are anxious, much like the shadows that roam ever so freely now, to devour.

I am now faced with a trial, a final trial unlike those that have came before this one. And while the exact details have yet to be revealed to me, I know all to well that it will ultimately be one of my own doing, one of my own making – for now, with flames that shall soon turn to fires within my hand, and with anger, desperation – and acceptance alike all fighting for a place within this quickly darkening Twilight, I know that one will surely take the course, leading me onto the end of this very Advent. Leading onto the end of the path that started this all.

We are no longer in a time where this all can be tread lightly on. For around every corner now, I can see the doom, suffering, damnation at the absence of true light – and the flooding of the false. The shadows that remain clung to me now are morphing into something different beyond my understanding, becoming a black veil of sorts during these darkening times. I am now beginning to transition into a state out of the lust and delusions that this line breathes, this line that is now so shattered and torn, that all sense of purpose and self has long since been lost. We are now feeling the beckoning of the bringers of what we have secretly yearned for throughout these ages, fates that will be bestowed upon us – bringing an end to this all.

 

In Visions

The darkness that compliments this cold night air had made it’s way into this shattered line silently, and threateningly.  In a way, it seeks to carry out acts of retribution of it’s own, as for some time now it has been locked behind the walls of the shadows and echoes alike; echoes that now begin to wage war against these shadows that now roam free and the very fates that they herald that are soon to flood across this vast and seemingly infinite scapes. Within these fleeting moments, I tend to disassociate with it all, I tend to forget all that is at stake in all of this, I tend to drift off into visions of other lines, visions of other futures, visions in which I have lost touch with – as these eras and ages past have long since taken a toll on me.

The more that I spend time in these visions, the less I can feel the panic that is inevitably settling in, the less I become attached to this all, and the tighter the grip of the coming 9th sleep begins to have on me.  In visions, I can feel the cold of the snow and the folding of the universe, in visions I can see the peak of the summits and the flowing of the iced cold rivers that flow purely within the streams. Within visions, I can feel all that I was meant to be, and at the same time, all you wanted me to be. But that is not for me to touch on now, for the thoughts that you had pre-conceived of my entire being will be for reflections that shall unfold at the tail end of this all – and even now I am quickly closing in. For now, I strive exhaustively, yet willfully towards the unknown which has been enveloped in shadows and guided by echoes alike – with only the final flame left to guide me.

The desperation is what I yearn and struggle to leave behind, but with each moment of acceptance that has been bestowed upon me within these visions, the more this desperation fades into the blackness. In these visions, I have in a way begun to sense a force of peace that is tirelessly seeking to find it’s way in, a sense of peace that has awaited long since I took up this mantle of the Warrior of Shadows, a sense of peace that had sat and watch the day’s of vanishings take place. This peace is said to await the more darkest of souls during the core of the most blackest of nights, at the edge of the most crucial of times – a moment of time that marks an Advents end.

Noxis, The Bringer of Shadows

The feeling of these day’s have become so much darker, so much more sinister, and so much more heavy than I could have ever imagined. With every breath I take – there is a sort of panic that latches itself to the particles in the air, invading my all. Mixed with the smoke that now seeps it’s way into my lungs from the Final Flame that I now behold. A flame that is now the last remaining light of this vast and seemingly infinite place, a flame that shall soon ignite the skies for as long as it can stay alive – a flame that will bring about a final twilight before it begins to devour all that remains in this place whole. Before reaching this divine force, I had joined forces with the shadows, for even I knew that to fight against them was futile, for the warrior of shadows I had long since become – helping this very force to bring about the very devouring of the light and landscapes that have begun to take place now – for in return, this darkness promised to lead me to the last of the light which remains in this line, a light that would do my bidding for as long as I could control it.

For I have brought these shadows here, to this very moment at the end of this Advent, and while I have yet to know for sure whether or not I will regret this decision in the end, I do know that the time that remains now is much more sinister and fragile than any other time within this line that I have ever known. Unlike before, within this fragile time the looming threat remains to be the arrival of fates I have known for some time that shall inventively make their way into this place, fates that cannot be avoided, fates that will seek to claim both warriors and shadows alike, bending cycles and echoes to it’s will – ultimately bringing about a new line, one in which only those who are worthy may endure.

So much regarding where this reality stands within this moment in time is rapidly changing, twisting, and reverberating in ways that have since infiltrated my very veins. For even now, as the cold night air blows, and as the panic rises, I still search for calm as the force I’ve come to know as the 9th sleep begins to call out to me once more, but I refuse to give in. The fight that arrives within these landscapes now is not a fight that can be won, it is not a war that should be waged – it is an undertaking that must be met. When I close my eyes, I can no longer see lines of some strange shimmering future – for instead, I can only see the glimmering fates that lie ahead. The hope that has always burned from within me has long since been replaced by the only constant, the only truth left, that is the final flame – a force that can at any moment spiral out of my control, or worse dim to a fated nothingness. It is in this knowing that as the shadows begin their devouring, that I too take what remains of the power that has been left to me to seek out the last resort, to seek out the fates that may very well lead me to a new line of my own. 

Of Equality & The Final Flame

In this moment, times have begun to act strange once again. I can feel the chilling of the cold night air begin to pick up once again, it moves fast, violently breaching my skin – almost as if it is in haste, running from something inevitable. Something that I have yet to become aware of. These moments are fleeting, and these precious times are oh-so-fragile. I can feel the coming of the end, it is almost as certain as the coming of winter itself. I can sense a presence other than my own, now come to peace and acceptance for what lies ahead. You stand before me now, so very grey and withered as you have fallen victim to the shadows presence. For in a way, we are one in the same. We have sought out this flame during these fleeting moments across blackened skies, and now, while shadows shall devour you and the final bit of light that you may hold, I shall now become the darkness that this path of a warrior for the shadows has long since prepared me for. 

For no longer, do I live for agreements and contracts made with some universal force that has long since left here – so bitter, so enraged that I would not seek to renew such agreements. For now, as this dark and cold night settles in, do I now truly accept the despair and loneliness that has so desperately been beating at my chest. For now, as I reach out my hands towards this Final flame and all it’s imminence, I can feel the burning of uncertainty begin to consume me, along with darkness alike. I can now see the shadows which have followed and clung to me ever so closely, awaiting this very moment in time begin to spiral out of control, creating a sort of chaos I had never thought to be possible.

I know now that in taking this Final Flame and in accepting what has now awoken, that fates will surely begin to settle in, along with forces I have never thought to have to know. For now, the panic has begun to settle in alongside this uncertainty, as well as the burning that this final flame contains. I am now becoming what I have always known deep down inside to be inevitable, I am now destroying all that I once thought was true during these last fleeting moments, I am now fulfilling the only path left to be fulfilled within this line for a night much darker than anything I’ve ever known has now been stirred. For now, as darkness begins to consume me, it has also become my responsibility, for we are now one.

BRUISE

My vision was once ecstatically filled with colors, hues of all sorts of life and timelines, visions and dreams of varying sorts. But that time has past now, it is merely an echoes that simply haunts me of what once was and what will likely never be again. What my vision has steered towards now is a stagnant state in between light and dark itself, a fade of grey of sorts – much like the skies that begin to morph yet again from above. It has long since been this way, however, for this is nothing knew. Ever since the exile took place, the dreams that I once knew began to fleet much faster than this dying light itself – the fading was inevitable. But all that has happened throughout those ages, have inevitably lead me here, lead me to remembering the violent scars which were marked upon my skin then and now, and the unsettling bruises which remain in their place – after time does it’s absolute best to heal, as it always does. But perhaps I will touch on that more another time.

For as I grow more and more weary with each passing hour, the darkness from behind and within grows thicker and thicker – like a never ending cloud of smoke. The final flame is near, and it is the final flame indeed that I need to carry out what remains of my journey, the remains of all that I had set out to do. For while yes, desires still stir within me – I can feel a void of purpose, one in which I know may never be fulfilled within this line, one that may require the very course of space and time to be twisted and bent at ones will in order to obtain. One that will surely require great loss to reach.

As the cold night air begins to seep it’s way into this vast and seemingly infinite scape, so does the chaos every time that I close my eyes. For I can feel the panic rising, and I can see the violence brewing. I can see lines march darker than what I had envisioned before, for they seek to mold me into the inevitable, they seek to mold me into what I have always knew I would become.  They seek to claim me as their own, without my say or my blessing. But no longer am I slave to these opposing sides of darkness, and no longer will I be a victim to the false light which has corrupted this all. For while these scars, bruises, and traumas alike may cry and ring out across dark and cold nights – I will continue searching for the only thing left remaining which can help me fight for the fate I deserve, the only thing that shall lead me down the path of what was always meant to be – what will stay forever.

Insomnia

What I am now becoming I would not wish upon anyone. For these states of void and extreme exhaustion have begun to take a toll on me like never before as I grow more and more near the inevitable next phase of equality that awaits. A clearer equality, which will stand as a moment in time that will truly define the life that has been passing me by ever-so-quickly. It is seeming as if now I must sacrifice myself to the flames that surely await, flames that I have long since lost – but flames that have always been part of this land, only to ever be obtained by those who are willing to accept the fates that come with bearing them. Such fates have never been told to me, for some have only managed to manifest themselves in visions during brief periods of daydreams and destruction’s – causing me to inevitably stumble and lose balance.

The night is what I have always been bound to, not by choice, but strangely by fate itself. The night is what I am sure to become – as I know here, this final fleeting light which remains within this vast and seemingly infinite scape will soon be snuffed out by the shadows themselves. For the morphing’s which take place in the skies above will soon dispel a violent light here that shall be claimed by those who bring shadows, and those who have once done their bidding – such as I. There is no more stalling from what inevitably now must be done, for the darkness  has begun to grow thick within me as Hollows begin to grow deeper and deeper from all around.

Noxis, The October’s Son

These day’s have a way of pulling me in with their tides. It seems like an eternity that I ave been in a way wandering, traversing infinite landscapes, experimenting with this very experience I have seemingly signed up for; but times, unlike then – are much different now. It is every now and then that I come to realize this, it is every now and then that the thought comes to my mind and then quickly fleets – much like the remaining time that is passing me by now. The cold air that this time brings has a way of bringing back thoughts and memories that I had always thought have been erased from my mind, kept locked away from me in a sense, kept hidden for reason that still remain unknown to me. During the darker and cold nights, they bring terrors and hollows like things I have never experienced before, things that trigger shaking’s and vision that I perceive to be of the end.

I am both worn, weary, and alone in the eyes of this October sun. For no longer do I know my place in all of this – as my blade has been long since tucked away and cast aside, for as of now, there are no battles left to be fought and no wars left to be waged. For the moment that I yearn to reach now is yet another moment of equality, a moment where I can finally be met by the hands that turn and twist the hourglass at the universes will, a moment where all time will stand still, and where Advent agreements once made will finally come to an expiration. A moment where every last shackle and chain will be unlocked from my flesh – a moment where I can finally become darkness unbound.

Oh father, October, how you have cradled my for eras and Advents past, oh how can I truly show you my appreciation for all you have meant to me throughout the ages? I may not know of you true intent, nor do I know of your true origins. For I am merely your son, your child, holding the essence of you with my last remaining strength, with my last remaining knowings of who I am, and who I have yet to become. For I know following this moment, I will be plunged into Hollows in hopes of obtaining flames that will seek to set fires across these morphing skies and across these seemingly infinite scapes. It is with this in mind that I now know that I must become free all that I have kept trapped from the inside of me throughout all of these ages. My masks are now off, for the veil is quickly thinning and I require both sides of the spectrum to see me now. To see me for who I truly am, to see me for who I have always been – October’s true son.

DEFIANCE

I have taken much into account throughout these long and weary colder days, for as the air grazes my flesh – I am forced to deal with these thoughts that I can only assume come from a time before the cavern walls took place, a time where I once set out to experience what I am now becoming, a time where I once feared the inevitable. It is during these times that even as I walk this final path of light within this vast and seemingly infinite scape – all I seem to see is darkness.  I feel as if I am treading through lies once more, these lies being disguised as the glimmer and shimmers of light which streak their way across this place, leading me to yet another moment in time where the veil if thin and where we will meet again. A moment of equality, if you will. For my day’s of waging wars for the shadows are now behind me, and while I am still a warrior in essence, there is no longer any battle before me that is to be fought. 

During past ages, I have strayed from this path many times before – for fear of what I would become. But now, as time fleets by faster than the eyes could ever dream to see, I know that no other options remain, I know now that all of the cards are on the table. There are those who are so called light bringers on this path, for they seek to guide the lost, the wanderers, those in darkness – towards that of the light, towards that of newer life. However, I have seen many be lead astray by the false light, including myself, hence during these times that I remain vigilant, for during these times I no longer seek to stray from the path. It is all painful in essence, for the moments that I close my eyes I can see lines of what could become when darkness spirals out of control. For the forces that makeup the duality of the whole are chaotic and devouring in nature – claiming who they see fit.

I do not wish to bring about an era of defiance, nor do I wish to cast aside every whisper of the goddess I once knew – it is now more than ever that I simply seek out the truth in all of this, the very truth once desired that lead to be partake on this journey many eras ago. In a way, the patterns that I once knew will now be broken by new patterns of darkness, patterns of defiance and patterns of sheer will and desire to discover the truth. For it is in these moments that I use what strength remains to use this darkness to sift my ways through the lies and deception, it in these moments that I use what strength remains to guide me towards the destiny that has been fated for me this entire time.