Category Archives: Recent Activity

To Meet Thresholds

As Dawn continues to make it’s way fully and strongly across this land, I have spent subtle, yet productive time contemplating where in which the next path lies for me to take, onwards into this new age. Short time has passed since my final letter was sent, making it’s way across some barren lands, from where in which I once stood and walked in great attempts to reach what I once believed to be the truth of all my actions. I, now only beginning to truly crumble have accepted this new reality that the new age has gifted me to finally be able to see. A reality I was too blind to see during the time of the exile, a reality in which I foresaw, yet at the same time, shut my eyes too.

It is at this time now that only faith in myself, and myself alone will keep me going. While I still question whether or not any of this was your doing, or if it were all a result of my catastrophic actions to that world, I still cannot help but place full responsibility on myself. Ever since this final message had been sent, I had oathed that such weakness shall never be the trigger that will cause me to meet my end ever again. For now I have envisioned a new task that will prepare me for the new set out of this new era.

I often dream of the 4th, and whether or not they exist within this new era. It is all of some strange blind faith, but I know that brewing from within is the self that was always meant to be. Whether this entity of me will forever be in chains as the other is birthed, or is completely erased as a whole, is no longer of any of my concern. I will do what has to be done in order to reach the height I was meant to reach before the exile. I will bleed. I will cry. I may even break, a little. But my one true and only weakness has already been exposed, and no one can use it against me.

 

 

TAE Presents: ~Thanks.

It’s been a few years since I’ve formally written something, let a lone produced something exclusively for the holiday’s. Well, that streak ends today as I’ve recently prepared a short little podcast-type discussion about my take on Thanksgiving and the concept of giving thanks as a whole. I also read through the short Thanksgiving message I wrote back in 2011 for those of you who may not have had a chance to hear it. This isn’t intended to be anything formal, just me expressing how I feel about this holiday, and the things that come to mind. I hope you all can enjoy, and Happy Thanksgiving!

Transitions (2)

It was never change that I had feared to begin with. It was the toll of the cycle in which change contained. The never-ending alternating of worlds, friends, family, and hearts. And the proper word here would not be fear, I would say, it had to have been more of an exhaust than anything else. But despite all of these things, I am not the one who holds power to this cycle. However, from slipping through times waves, and exiting crucial tasks, I have allowed such cycles to become identical, redundant and consistent. But at this time ,these are now coming to an end, and the cycles of old will officially be broken. For you own this era, it has slept within the palm of your hands from the beginning, I was only foolish, not to have known this earlier. The changes that take place now, are the cries and the final breaths of this dimming life. To reach and obtain this dawn has become a task of never-ending pain, sorrow, suffering, and exhaust. I know it is what you would have wanted, so therefore I feel more inclined to grasp it. But this vessel still lay’s in shambles, and while time is limited to fix it all once again, I am determined to re-assemble what was once present, and to have it and all it’s strength carry me through my final moment throughout the darkened nights sky’s. Soon the truth will be found, and so will something else. I never doubted all of this coming, but I did leave it up to the fates, which I swore were on my side, and that was perhaps the biggest mistake I had made.

Intersections

Decent time has passed since the first set out since the exile, and even more time has passed wince the exiles expiration. It seems here, within these strange lands, my sense of direction, and or guidance is much more scarce. Yet much like the gentle winds that blew and guided me within the distant Plains some time ago, the bright and vibrant lights here seek to guide you, yet in so many directions that ultimately the path to take, is made by you, and you truly. At this time, I have come to a brief pause before running towards the next direction, for at this moment, many dilemma’s have plagued be strongly, stirring me into a dangerous cycle that speaks failure and death to me.  The time that has passed since then, from there, until now still move across my mind sharply and brightly, yet in the darkest form possible. For at this moment, I sense what lies near these sections, is nothing more but more struggle and hardship, and though the end of this all may mean a lifeless heart, the adrenaline will kick in before it all ceases.

What is it that keeps you so close to earth? So close to me? After all this time. For all I have from you now is a vesseless soul from distant pasts, long before the Cavern Walls. But even this architecture of odd heights, must hold some answers, to cease the growing of this chaos and confusion. I once oathed,  and when that oath fell, so did time, so did love, so did everything else, and with it came the birth of an exile, yet a new life at the same time, except with the same mind. This is the punishment I have been given, but even a mere oath, should not be taken lightly. It will be difficult to grasp the lights, because for then I must reach, but I won’t let it become impossible, I’ll still do it, and maybe then, once the darkest hours begin to settle in, I can trigger old time, and carry it out into oblivion as it was once destined to happen, long before the Cavern walls.

Buried Turbines

I was never directly told about my end. It had always came in signs, dreams, and visions, that in themselves, were always very poorly put together. The exile has expired, vanished, erased into some darkened wormhole that once manipulated the time that I had traveled through. Thought the exile has now ended, the pieces that had once been fully assembled before the termination, are now scattered, and perhaps shattered. We are in a new Advent now, and though there were very few souls I chose to let go of, yours was one I always swore to hold onto, while knowing how it would bring destruction. But even this soul now, is a vessel in itself, almost useless, un-tapped, and disconnected from the pulsing essence in which it seeks. I knew all along what this would bring, and at this time nothing comes as a shock. Yet the flashbacks still shake me and twist me, reminding me that failures will only result it further re-lapses, triggering misplaced time to rise once again. The darkest hours, are quickly approaching. And while I now stand on some surface of scattered vessels, on the forefront of lands brighter, and condensed, down to the souls very core, I know nothing more significant can guide me to what I must find here, in this place. As time flips, and you all are left ahead, in your dawn, these darkened evenings must now bestow themselves upon me for the many trials in which await me.

 

What new coming are you? For you hide out of my reach, live out of my dreams, and exist in some different world. Perhaps you are much like me, a wanderer, a dreamer, free flowing in some strange large space. Or perhaps you are of some old love, a desire never lost, a desire ever-lasting, you are loneliness, awaiting it’s last breath, yearning to pass on, deep into a new world of wonder, a world of infinite spaces. We hope to find you, soon..

The Timid Release

With the dark void now spinning, rapidly, and absorbing my current strange states at a quick and violent pace, an odd new feeling has begun to wash over me. The feeling and longing of you, seems to have it’s way once again, overtaking certain voids, and filling them with grief a grief with such force, it shall open a window to what I seek. For you, like me, are an insignificant being, compared to the entirety of the cosmos. But you are also a key, you have always been a key, an unfading key, an ever-lasting key, but however, a key that has only been made for a finite number of locks. But this lock, attached to some mysterious window beyond my mortal site, comes with a price, a price to fade and diminish and a rapid pace, yet to gain the power and wisdom any living being could ever dream of, at a rapid pace. However for all of this, I am not yet ready, but more ready than before as this voids swallows hole of these shackles that have kept me bound to some strange darkness for so long. Soon, as fate once told, the heaviness will in fact swallow hole all of what I know, and all that I am. But this cannot happen yet, it shall not happen yet. For brighter lights, and darker corners await in that strange land of odd architect. But now with this crease open, time ticks at an un-settling pace, at a dangerous pace, it is now my goal to keep up, and manipulate it, until once that is in need of completion, is finished.

A Path To Start, A Life to Leave

The time of the end of the old era has awhile since ended. The souls that had in which grasped to me then, are now gone, invisible to me, living out new paths, in a new Advent. Some of these souls, were the ones I trusted, some in which were the ones I hated, to the very core. But whether or not these feelings still burn from within is now irrelevant, for what is not destroying me is nothing more than my own fate, and the darkness that has in which stalked me since the beginning of this journey. Despite knowing this, I still do not fear, for the greater powers still shall not allow to to go. For from this black hole that is now to be birthed, comes a new path that must be carved, a path that has been long since overdue. It was you who had in which trusted me to carry out such a path, but with you now vanished, spun away along with the chaos and debris, it is up to me to grab hold of and walk the trail that has long since been carved, awaiting a new wayfarer to take it’s place. For after this road is taken, there will be no going back. And while cold and empty stations, on hardened concrete platforms will still haunt me and slowly destroy me, I know I must continue this path and finish it, if not for me at least, then for you. Those who have bestowed such poison upon me must now be left behind, once and for all. Much like most deaths, this process will be a slow one, but with time now speeding up once again as my darkest hour of the Evening grows near, I know it will all be over soon.

 

 

The Black Hole

When I let ll of them go, it was at a great will in which I carried out the action. However, it seemed fate played a big role into it all.  For the departure, that took place shortly before the exile, was of some quiet and yet deadly fate, destined to be carried out. It was only after, that I had in fact noticed that I saw the future. I won’t forget that night, sprawled out upon some hard wooden floors, with an air so cold, one would have thought that death itself had crept through the windows. Put perhaps that’s what it was in the end, death. For at that time the 2nd sleep had begun to take place, and now, I seem to curse that it had. For from those wooden floors, and chilled air cause me to see the images in which I prayed I would never see, but in the end, it was inevitable. You warmed me then, covered in a deep blanket of snow, your heart gave me warmth, but that was then. This was before the exile.

For now the darkness is re-occurring, and though my soul yearns for the light, it cannot grasp it without my heart. It seems at this time, there are two fates fighting against each-other. Many battles take place, day by day, week by week. One day one fate wins, the other day one looses, it is a never ending war. My knowledge of all this is merely a spec compared to what the greater ones know, however I oath-ed to become a vessel for the balance, and perhaps that’s how I lost you. But now, with this darker aura beginning to settle in, these times begin to grow darker once again. For now the 3rd sleep has long since concluded and many questions are in need of answers. This darker world I have feared for years, however I hope it to provide the closure I seek, for much has left to be done, before this road ends.

New Voids

With lives and dreams fading, for things more un-imaginable now than they ever were before, I climb to these new heights, only chasing my doom, running from the chaos that stands far below me. These times grow darker, and while the morning is only now beginning to shine bright for many, my period of the Evenings true arrival is soon to be at hand, where my final test, to leave this purgatory begins. In lands such as these, all things are great, heights in which only existed in my wildest dreams, yet the depths and voids below them, spinning and spiraling deep within some odd chaos, a space so dark, so mysterious, it pulls even the purest most brightest souls into it’s entire being. Perhaps you were lost to this void, lost to this chaos, when things were changed, when time was flipped, when departures were made, and exiles were sentenced. Or perhaps, your mind simply switched, like a stop light in the middle of the road, triggering different paths for different travelers, perhaps your road desired a new direction, and so that’s where you went. It has now began to settle in that running from this, this death is simply foolish on it’s own, for my end here is inevitable. Though for the time being, I am immortal, at least within my own control, for if he seeks to destroy me, then I shall seek to destroy him, and all balance will be broken.

But at this time, I prepare for a mass departure, to lands with greater heights than those that which lie here in Allahalav, lands that only seek my death, yet also seek liberation, a strange salvation, that can only be given by the greater gods above, the greater gods around us all. For when time fully returns back to normal, my end will either be near, or life will be reborn. For I saw my very end on empty platforms, residing in some crowded station on a cold winter day. I made an oath, and with that oath, I signed a contract, and this contact was death, death that I knew one way or another, would bring me the ultimate salvation.

Of Reedsport

These days that have begun to take place now, are the first days of change, the first days of change, of the new Advent. Since towards the ending of the old Advent, time has been scrambled, lost, confused within it’s own lines, misplacing my rights, and changing my fates. Though it was my exile that had in which caused this chaos in the first place, it seems my foolish mind still seeks to place blame elsewhere, however, everything could have been better. Captivated, within these shiftless lands we describe as Allahalv, the air here moves in circles, and so does the time, for always things will happen again. Despite the pain, sorrow, and regret this place brings to me, it will always remain in my heart, it will always be calling me to my death. The second departure is not alone an action towards self-salvation, yet the last glimmer of hope to find what I seek, or perhaps more importantly, save what I cherish. From here on out, the days of shiftless time, and shiftless spirits are behind me, and only dysfunctions in time will bring them back. For now these lights that lie within this land I must wander to, hold the first Beacon that must be obtained, one that shall be the first guardian to guide my towards my final destination of this journey. These chains that keep be tied to these walls now, shall soon be broken, shattered, obliterated into shards of the past. This chain, shall know longer against.

 

We set out, Towards the light.