Every journey has it’s origin point. But I have already discussed this with you all. So allow me to continue in present time, this very moment, the current day’s, as everything shifts to change once again.
As the new dawn spreads it’s wings across these lands, the harder I seem to cling to what once was. There are a million things calling me back, every second, every minute, every living and breathing moment of my life. Though I know now some strange action, partook by myself severed such sacred timelines, I know there is now no way to fix things, no way to bring things back to normal, to way…to return things to the way they once were. I live in a time shrouded in such mystery, though one thing remains certain. The clock that seems to always be ticking for me, is running thin. In some strange way, you were always right, you saw deep into my heart, you saw the pain, the anguish, the good, the bad, the ambition, and perhaps you too saw the future, much like I. In some cases, I tend to wonder if seeing the future, is what set off the paradoxes in the first place, severing our worlds, and creating one anew.
Deep within a new, more sharp, more aimed mind, I still seek out what my heart truly yearns. There is truly much left to accomplish. Upon the exile, I made several critical mistakes which ultimately brought me to my fate. And though I swore to never make such mistakes again, who is to say another mis-step couldn’t bring worse? Of course, this is a risk I am willing to take. Because on this setout, there truly is no returning, it is simply impossible, even if I tried to force it, even if I tried to re-arrange it, even if I collided with you, there is no possible way to go back. The fact has now been faced, and I am determined to either meet the doom or glory that awaits me so far beyond this new horizon. If it may be you, wandering within infinite spaces, then so be it. I pray some greater force may guide me to this new light, and keep me from falling to harm once again. But my worst enemy is myself. Spinning and growing within a shrouded shadowy corners feeds and being much stronger than I am now, a plague, trapped within a vessel much like my own. It will not rest until the spilling of my own blood has begun.
Much time has passed since I initially began this journey. Years and years of wandering, struggles, wars, and yearning have taken place before I first step foot outside of the very treacherous life that threatened my soul, challenging as a whole, to fight for my destiny. I have had my days of extreme loneliness, plunged into an un-imaginable darkness, so dark I felt that only death could set me free. But with that, I have also bathed in the glory and light that the most treasure-able of love has to offer, a golden place of an immense, uplifting feeling. The paths go on and on.
There was a place that once stood, outside of time, outside of the world around me that those who I hated and loved wandered within. This was a place that had opened up to me only, during the time. A place of sheer cold, where souls longed for freedom, and hearts yearned for warmth, for this place in which I had been was dark, and I stood supremely alone. My intentions during this time however, were clear. For you I was fighting for during that time enabled me to see a clear path, a vision, a life outside of the Cavern walls, a life where all was to be healed, a life where I could truly start anew. I weathered through the storm, and though there were many days and hours where I swore I would never make it alive, I made it out, I made it out alive.
After the walls collapse, and I went tumbling to my new fate, I was met with a new light. This light, shone throughout the infinite spaces of this lonely landscape, but shone most strongly directly into my heart. For I knew during this time that the hours were coming closer, to the point in time where another war would begin. As I traveled throughout these Plains, I learned and witnessed much about myself that I would have never been able to learn without reaching that Place. You and I however were then sewn into a knot that was bid unrepeatable by us, and us only. With much certainty now setting stone in mind, I set forward without hesitation, for the Sunset on that Advent was approaching, and time until the departure was growing even nearer.
After several years, waiting for the day to finally arrive, it was time for me to make my departure from those lands. Following this, I betrayed those who were once close, just as they betrayed me years prior, leaving it all behind, I quickly entered the large and strange place I sought to call home, inevitably, only to meet the fate I had stood so blind too seeing. Upon arrival, it was already much too late. For the 2nd sleep had already taken it’s course, and I lay there victim to it, sprawled out on attic floorboards. My failures to sustain what we once promised began to pile, and stack, and though my longings for you grew stronger and stronger everyday, it did not erase the fact that a new and inevitable fate was waiting for me, right at the edge of the Advent. The days went by quickly, many without you, many alone. The dreams that took place during those dark and cold nights were of cold and empty stations, upon platforms, where you began to become out of reach. But even before then, a simple touch of your skin, was enough to melt the frigid snow that I lay deep within over a frozen lake. Though you assured to me that the promises in which we upheld would remain intact until the end time, my visions spoke otherwise. During the final days, it all seemed clear. I would indefinitely become exiled from that land, inevitably creating a paradox that would change all that I knew.
Sent back to a time and place that seemed so familiar, yet at the same time, so different from what I once knew. At that very moment I held a strange feeling at the back of my head that things would never return to normal ever again. For much time, you were erased from my time, shortly after making way into the new Advent, we were sent back, to an era where time truly did not matter. During these days, during your absence I scrounged around the strange place I was trapped in, only to try and find answers as to why things were the way they were, and why such mysterious outcomes took place. As my very being began to crumble, my heart was inevitably lost, for during that period of time, the a new crashing began, in which I strove to dig myself out of, to return to the strange lands, upon your return. Once our positions in time crossed paths once again, you made your return. However, during this day, was the day where it truly began to all fall apart. Changed, and spinning in and out of time, I knew your mind was elsewhere and the promises began to unfold, after all those years. While I still remained focused on mending what was damaged, the tasks in which I was given to complete before the arrival of the new Advent were clear. A new time in history was beginning, and everyone who meant something to me deserved to start anew, deserved to no longer carry the burdens in which older days bestowed upon them.
Up until the final hour, I oath’ed to be left behind, enabling them to go forward, cleansed of all in which I brought upon them. Stuck in-between the Advent of Old and the New Advent, I continued my goal of re-building all that had crashed upon my departure. You made your way in time to be heard, from time to time, but it wasn’t long until you were once again completely absent from my life, this time for good. Throughout these days the night begun to grow darker and longer, but even during that time I gradually returned to my origins to reclaim my heart, and my strengthened mind in which I had feared I’d lost for good. Ultimately pained, and confused, tired of the past, and paradox’s, the exile was lifted, and most everything within myself returned to normal. For after years of striving I had finally made my way into the new Advent, a new place in time. However, it was all without you. Which even now, during this time, at the coming of the new Dawn, I ask myself over and over if it were all really worth it in the end..
Post-“Places” Saga/The New Dawn/Present Day
During this day, I am beginning to awaken from the 4th sleeps wrath. I have grown stronger, yet in some ways weaker, beyond my wildest dreams. I’d like to think you’d be proud, but at the same time, I know it’s about time that I begin striving all for myself, seeing since that is all that is left. With every action we take, time and fate is altered, even if it’s just a little, the end result is altered. Though I learned the hard way there is no way to change the past, I did however learn the value of time, and many other things within these Places. My way now, is a search for many things. Life owes me nothing, nor will it ever, there have been many times when the unjust has held me back, yes, but in the end, that was also my fault, it all comes down to us. My dreams are infinite, but there is one that I strive for harder than the others, this single dream, can single-handedly illuminate the others. However, throughout time, this proven to be a dream that fails me, and now during these days, I also seek to find the answer’s as to how to remove this curse, this plague, this darkness that follows me so. A journey far larger than any of which I have been on before awaits me just over these growing flames that will birth something new. As I make my way through, it will hurt, and it will bruise, however my chances of failing are zero to none. For it is only myself now, as how it should be for this journey. Until what is sought, is finally obtained.
Wires. The interstellar material that had allowed to me visit a life, a timeline beyond dreamy exhibits. In the beginning, I did not realize, or, it had no mattered to me the chaos in which I was dabbling with, the embers, to of which I was ignorant of. The true flames were shown during the exile, and while that is behind me now, the remnants of what once were still lay buried beneath my feet. To awake in such a panic, but to dream is such a pain, caused my heart to spin through infinite waves. A burning sensation so strong, I would have thought it had all to be my end. But in some way, it was. Ever since that sleep, I will never be the same, it has changed things, altered what needed moved, and erased what needed to no longer exist. But for now, the pain grows stronger, worse. However I have been gifted the power to contain such things, the strength to fight such things. Soon this will all be behind us. Soon I will leave another fall behind.
Drifting throughout the infinite string, we call time, I have now begun to witness the truth that my heat for so long has been longing to hear. For awhile now, I’ve known that the entire exile that took place roughly a few years ago, was ultimately my doing, my trigger, all caused by my failures, fears, and emotions. Though a new life will in fact cleanse my wrong doings, and offer a fresh slate, nothing will ever be able to erase the memories of loss, and pain that remain with me till this day. I’ve made it clear, time and time again, that it all started on empty platforms within cold stations, that was when I knew my fate was imminent.
But even once that day passed, the signs became even more clearer, that something darker wanted me to fall. And I feel that whatever that “something” was, is waiting for me here, now, to fall once again. But unlike then, still strung up within tight wires, on cellar floors, I can fight now, at least with the remaining energy I have left. I always promised that one day I would make things right again, I promise I’d fix the time, and work hard to make things exactly like how we dreamed. I, however, am beyond fixing at this point, yet some things can still be mended, and they will be mended. For during these final dark nights of the crossover period I will fight to return things to how they always meant to be. And though it will shake me, weaken me to an unfathomable level. A promise is a promise, I tend to break them at times, but this one I am guaranteed to keep.
You inevitably reside inside of me, pulsing within my mind and my veins, you seek to takeover what once belonged to you. Even now, during this crossover into the new age, you seek to claim the life that you were once promised. I am forced to feel your pain, forced to fall whenever the longings shoot through your heart, I am forced sleep when your mind is tired of wandering, wishing, and thinking. Were are both two different entities, each of us desiring a different place in time, yet we both long for the same soul.
I once looked up at these dark as starry skies and knew in that moment that this light was bound to die. In those times however, paradoxes were at hand, and my mind was scattered. Since returning to origins, I know what must inevitably take place, I know what must die, and what must move on. Everyday a part of me is taken away, a layer of skin, ripped from it’s core. I bleed a blood of old, yet a blood that has been yearning to flow freely for an entire era.
I know you will not come to change any of this. It was never originally intended. Resulting in my return to have immediate effect on this dying light, as the final crossover within this night begins.
From a failure in their eyes, to a traitor in yours, it is clear to me now why the greater forces advise me to take this path alone. For eras ago I sought out a life that was the perfect match for my soul. Only after the alterations that would take place a few eras following would I then become chained to the oath that I have now, an oath that is on it’s last light, waiting to be renewed. In a way, time always seems to repeat itself, over and over again, yet at the same time, it disguises itself as something new, something different each time, just to throw us off. It’s during these dimming hours that these sorts of things truly come to mind. Futures gift me with some scattered visions of the fourth coming, yet my soul knows the path it must take until then, any other presence would be none other than burdens.
For years I’ve witnessed these winds pick up, and die off, some warm, some cold to the touch, but in the end, they have all faded, leaving this path still and silent. Foolishly my heart had once become reliant on one thing, and while this version of me still stalks these lands during some cold and starry nights; I wish to seek him out, and put an end to the burden he carries. For wires were what my soul had been trapped, abducted from some large plains, sent to some strange lands only to be abandoned, and soon exiled. No longer does this anger me, as for the most part, I’ve made peace with the past. Yet you still wander out there, somewhere deep within city lights. At long last, our clock is slowing down, and our end is near a simple action, could change the future. That much I’ve accepted.
Let it be known, that from this sleep onward, I will never be the same. Though I have been caught in a cycle, a time-loop, a paradox, transcended beyond my dreams, yet foreseen within them. Let it be known, that from this night onward no longer will I seek to the others for comfort and warmth, for teeth are only sharp when they pierce through your veins. For I, now finally finding my heart, yet cold, now seek to fight and destroy the darkness that had tainted what I treasured so dearly. Yes, I mourn greatly for what I have lost, but no longer will that be what holds me back. Let it be known, as a promise to the old soul, the soul that’s dying in pain, the life that’s bleeding and shall only live till dawn. That I will avenge it, and all others alike.