It was all inevitable, to not see it coming was merely foolishness on my part. Those around have now begun to shift and spin in a very odd and eerie fashion. As soon, for what will feel like forever, they will be completely removed from my path. With it all of course beyond my control, and up to some greater, higher force, what I have once knew, what I have once cherished, what I have even hated is now finally being faded into the sunrises ray’s at the new Dawn fully sets in.
While I know soon, the Twilight will return for its first time in this new Advent, I also know that the trials and tribulations of this Morning period have not yet reached it’s peak. Accepting the lonely state of this current path, I now have, what feels to be a clearer state of mind, even though my heart may feel otherwise. Long ago, as the only one, you helped me find the light, the light I still am now coming to learn more and more about everyday, a light that holds a greater truth, something much larger, something much brighter and grander beyond the current cycles that I have come to know now.
While new cycles will soon be established as this brand new transition period sets off, this time, it will not be in vain, for if it is, I oath for my failures to cost me nothing less than my very own life and all that I am. A new force has now begun to grow inside of me, something that now seeks attention, nourishment, and more. This being will continue and exceed these new cycles, but until then, I am not worthy of it.
The forces which guide me on a daily basis continuously praise me for coming such a long ways, despite the failures I’ve made, the promises I’ve broken, the homes that I’ve left, and the time-lines I have crumbled. At this very moment, I sense a feeling from afar, from some large open plains calling me out. They speak of remembrance and clarity, and new life.
It is now that I seek to the guidance of the higher energies and powers to guide me for what will be perhaps the most crucial period since the first departure. I will grow tired, I will grow hungry, I may even grow weak, but I will not let it all go down into some darkened sea once again.
As Dawn continues to make it’s way fully and strongly across this land, I have spent subtle, yet productive time contemplating where in which the next path lies for me to take, onwards into this new age. Short time has passed since my final letter was sent, making it’s way across some barren lands, from where in which I once stood and walked in great attempts to reach what I once believed to be the truth of all my actions. I, now only beginning to truly crumble have accepted this new reality that the new age has gifted me to finally be able to see. A reality I was too blind to see during the time of the exile, a reality in which I foresaw, yet at the same time, shut my eyes too.
It is at this time now that only faith in myself, and myself alone will keep me going. While I still question whether or not any of this was your doing, or if it were all a result of my catastrophic actions to that world, I still cannot help but place full responsibility on myself. Ever since this final message had been sent, I had oathed that such weakness shall never be the trigger that will cause me to meet my end ever again. For now I have envisioned a new task that will prepare me for the new set out of this new era.
I often dream of the 4th, and whether or not they exist within this new era. It is all of some strange blind faith, but I know that brewing from within is the self that was always meant to be. Whether this entity of me will forever be in chains as the other is birthed, or is completely erased as a whole, is no longer of any of my concern. I will do what has to be done in order to reach the height I was meant to reach before the exile. I will bleed. I will cry. I may even break, a little. But my one true and only weakness has already been exposed, and no one can use it against me.
With an older era now fully behind me, and the night growing dimmer in the past. I have at long last reached the New Dawn. The 4th sleep has concluded, suddenly, yet so peacefully and willingly, as my eyes begin to shift in rapid paces, opening new worlds for me to discover when laying my body to rest. Considerable time has past since my arrival into this new age, for those I once knew are either further ahead, no longer in reach, or are stuck in their own darkness, as the true evil which prowls still spins in it’s own shadows, from closely behind. From a specific stance, I have begun to see a strange cycle formulating within my life. From past knowledge, I have come to know very well that such cycles are dangerous to closer futures. For a time ago, due to such cycles, I had lost everything I held dearly,
Despite the numerous Gatherings which took place before the true End Days of the old era, I find myself within this new age standing alone. However, this time, I feel this may be more of a gift, than it is a curse. The cycles I continue to spin in, till this day of be of some same and strange rotations, however I feel is the circle is left alone, undisturbed, it will evolve into something greater. For now I understand the importance of consistency, much like I had understood eras ago, before I had lost everything. For all in all, as the mornings breakout over this land, I feel newer beacons remain residing within the distance, and I must reach them. I seem to fight my own wars in all angles in life, many I have lost, for I have grown to weak, much to weak. It is now that I must take on a new role, and rise past the current state of stability, and strength I was once in before everything was lost. Failure to do so will result in a sooner death, no more, no less. I pray to whatever Gods and Lords above, whatever wicked higher power that may be glaring down at me below to help provide me the strength to see this through, for infinite fates, and infinite futures rely on these actions, these successes or failures, until the very end of days.
Every journey has it’s origin point. But I have already discussed this with you all. So allow me to continue in present time, this very moment, the current day’s, as everything shifts to change once again.
As the new dawn spreads it’s wings across these lands, the harder I seem to cling to what once was. There are a million things calling me back, every second, every minute, every living and breathing moment of my life. Though I know now some strange action, partook by myself severed such sacred timelines, I know there is now no way to fix things, no way to bring things back to normal, to way…to return things to the way they once were. I live in a time shrouded in such mystery, though one thing remains certain. The clock that seems to always be ticking for me, is running thin. In some strange way, you were always right, you saw deep into my heart, you saw the pain, the anguish, the good, the bad, the ambition, and perhaps you too saw the future, much like I. In some cases, I tend to wonder if seeing the future, is what set off the paradoxes in the first place, severing our worlds, and creating one anew.
Deep within a new, more sharp, more aimed mind, I still seek out what my heart truly yearns. There is truly much left to accomplish. Upon the exile, I made several critical mistakes which ultimately brought me to my fate. And though I swore to never make such mistakes again, who is to say another mis-step couldn’t bring worse? Of course, this is a risk I am willing to take. Because on this setout, there truly is no returning, it is simply impossible, even if I tried to force it, even if I tried to re-arrange it, even if I collided with you, there is no possible way to go back. The fact has now been faced, and I am determined to either meet the doom or glory that awaits me so far beyond this new horizon. If it may be you, wandering within infinite spaces, then so be it. I pray some greater force may guide me to this new light, and keep me from falling to harm once again. But my worst enemy is myself. Spinning and growing within a shrouded shadowy corners feeds and being much stronger than I am now, a plague, trapped within a vessel much like my own. It will not rest until the spilling of my own blood has begun.
Much time has passed since I initially began this journey. Years and years of wandering, struggles, wars, and yearning have taken place before I first step foot outside of the very treacherous life that threatened my soul, challenging as a whole, to fight for my destiny. I have had my days of extreme loneliness, plunged into an un-imaginable darkness, so dark I felt that only death could set me free. But with that, I have also bathed in the glory and light that the most treasure-able of love has to offer, a golden place of an immense, uplifting feeling. The paths go on and on.
There was a place that once stood, outside of time, outside of the world around me that those who I hated and loved wandered within. This was a place that had opened up to me only, during the time. A place of sheer cold, where souls longed for freedom, and hearts yearned for warmth, for this place in which I had been was dark, and I stood supremely alone. My intentions during this time however, were clear. For you I was fighting for during that time enabled me to see a clear path, a vision, a life outside of the Cavern walls, a life where all was to be healed, a life where I could truly start anew. I weathered through the storm, and though there were many days and hours where I swore I would never make it alive, I made it out, I made it out alive.
After the walls collapse, and I went tumbling to my new fate, I was met with a new light. This light, shone throughout the infinite spaces of this lonely landscape, but shone most strongly directly into my heart. For I knew during this time that the hours were coming closer, to the point in time where another war would begin. As I traveled throughout these Plains, I learned and witnessed much about myself that I would have never been able to learn without reaching that Place. You and I however were then sewn into a knot that was bid unrepeatable by us, and us only. With much certainty now setting stone in mind, I set forward without hesitation, for the Sunset on that Advent was approaching, and time until the departure was growing even nearer.
After several years, waiting for the day to finally arrive, it was time for me to make my departure from those lands. Following this, I betrayed those who were once close, just as they betrayed me years prior, leaving it all behind, I quickly entered the large and strange place I sought to call home, inevitably, only to meet the fate I had stood so blind too seeing. Upon arrival, it was already much too late. For the 2nd sleep had already taken it’s course, and I lay there victim to it, sprawled out on attic floorboards. My failures to sustain what we once promised began to pile, and stack, and though my longings for you grew stronger and stronger everyday, it did not erase the fact that a new and inevitable fate was waiting for me, right at the edge of the Advent. The days went by quickly, many without you, many alone. The dreams that took place during those dark and cold nights were of cold and empty stations, upon platforms, where you began to become out of reach. But even before then, a simple touch of your skin, was enough to melt the frigid snow that I lay deep within over a frozen lake. Though you assured to me that the promises in which we upheld would remain intact until the end time, my visions spoke otherwise. During the final days, it all seemed clear. I would indefinitely become exiled from that land, inevitably creating a paradox that would change all that I knew.
Sent back to a time and place that seemed so familiar, yet at the same time, so different from what I once knew. At that very moment I held a strange feeling at the back of my head that things would never return to normal ever again. For much time, you were erased from my time, shortly after making way into the new Advent, we were sent back, to an era where time truly did not matter. During these days, during your absence I scrounged around the strange place I was trapped in, only to try and find answers as to why things were the way they were, and why such mysterious outcomes took place. As my very being began to crumble, my heart was inevitably lost, for during that period of time, the a new crashing began, in which I strove to dig myself out of, to return to the strange lands, upon your return. Once our positions in time crossed paths once again, you made your return. However, during this day, was the day where it truly began to all fall apart. Changed, and spinning in and out of time, I knew your mind was elsewhere and the promises began to unfold, after all those years. While I still remained focused on mending what was damaged, the tasks in which I was given to complete before the arrival of the new Advent were clear. A new time in history was beginning, and everyone who meant something to me deserved to start anew, deserved to no longer carry the burdens in which older days bestowed upon them.
Up until the final hour, I oath’ed to be left behind, enabling them to go forward, cleansed of all in which I brought upon them. Stuck in-between the Advent of Old and the New Advent, I continued my goal of re-building all that had crashed upon my departure. You made your way in time to be heard, from time to time, but it wasn’t long until you were once again completely absent from my life, this time for good. Throughout these days the night begun to grow darker and longer, but even during that time I gradually returned to my origins to reclaim my heart, and my strengthened mind in which I had feared I’d lost for good. Ultimately pained, and confused, tired of the past, and paradox’s, the exile was lifted, and most everything within myself returned to normal. For after years of striving I had finally made my way into the new Advent, a new place in time. However, it was all without you. Which even now, during this time, at the coming of the new Dawn, I ask myself over and over if it were all really worth it in the end..
Post-“Places” Saga/The New Dawn/Present Day
During this day, I am beginning to awaken from the 4th sleeps wrath. I have grown stronger, yet in some ways weaker, beyond my wildest dreams. I’d like to think you’d be proud, but at the same time, I know it’s about time that I begin striving all for myself, seeing since that is all that is left. With every action we take, time and fate is altered, even if it’s just a little, the end result is altered. Though I learned the hard way there is no way to change the past, I did however learn the value of time, and many other things within these Places. My way now, is a search for many things. Life owes me nothing, nor will it ever, there have been many times when the unjust has held me back, yes, but in the end, that was also my fault, it all comes down to us. My dreams are infinite, but there is one that I strive for harder than the others, this single dream, can single-handedly illuminate the others. However, throughout time, this proven to be a dream that fails me, and now during these days, I also seek to find the answer’s as to how to remove this curse, this plague, this darkness that follows me so. A journey far larger than any of which I have been on before awaits me just over these growing flames that will birth something new. As I make my way through, it will hurt, and it will bruise, however my chances of failing are zero to none. For it is only myself now, as how it should be for this journey. Until what is sought, is finally obtained.
Wires. The interstellar material that had allowed to me visit a life, a timeline beyond dreamy exhibits. In the beginning, I did not realize, or, it had no mattered to me the chaos in which I was dabbling with, the embers, to of which I was ignorant of. The true flames were shown during the exile, and while that is behind me now, the remnants of what once were still lay buried beneath my feet. To awake in such a panic, but to dream is such a pain, caused my heart to spin through infinite waves. A burning sensation so strong, I would have thought it had all to be my end. But in some way, it was. Ever since that sleep, I will never be the same, it has changed things, altered what needed moved, and erased what needed to no longer exist. But for now, the pain grows stronger, worse. However I have been gifted the power to contain such things, the strength to fight such things. Soon this will all be behind us. Soon I will leave another fall behind.
Drifting throughout the infinite string, we call time, I have now begun to witness the truth that my heat for so long has been longing to hear. For awhile now, I’ve known that the entire exile that took place roughly a few years ago, was ultimately my doing, my trigger, all caused by my failures, fears, and emotions. Though a new life will in fact cleanse my wrong doings, and offer a fresh slate, nothing will ever be able to erase the memories of loss, and pain that remain with me till this day. I’ve made it clear, time and time again, that it all started on empty platforms within cold stations, that was when I knew my fate was imminent.
But even once that day passed, the signs became even more clearer, that something darker wanted me to fall. And I feel that whatever that “something” was, is waiting for me here, now, to fall once again. But unlike then, still strung up within tight wires, on cellar floors, I can fight now, at least with the remaining energy I have left. I always promised that one day I would make things right again, I promise I’d fix the time, and work hard to make things exactly like how we dreamed. I, however, am beyond fixing at this point, yet some things can still be mended, and they will be mended. For during these final dark nights of the crossover period I will fight to return things to how they always meant to be. And though it will shake me, weaken me to an unfathomable level. A promise is a promise, I tend to break them at times, but this one I am guaranteed to keep.